Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
