Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
