the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
