You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
