She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is Oprah even human
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
