Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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