i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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