i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Randomize
