If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
