I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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