Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
