I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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