No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
