I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
