I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
