he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize