I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
