Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
