He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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