take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize