Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize