Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
