On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
