Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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