You're my little dorito
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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