Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
