Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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