His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
