we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
