Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
