don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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