I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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