hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The uberlube is also flammable
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
