you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize