Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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