Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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