I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize