oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
