Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
