I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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