He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You are a genius and a whore.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
