Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
