when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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