I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
