You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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