I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I need water and some morals
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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