Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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