Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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