Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
