i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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