she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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