I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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