sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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