I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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