OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
