DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
please come you make the beer taste better
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize