I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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