Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
