Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
either way he was missing a nipple.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
jump out the window naked night went bad
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