It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
