she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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