just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize