there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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